I don’t get grossed out super easily. It comes with the job of being a nurse, a mother, and an earthy sort of lady. But I have to say that the umbilical cord fiasco this time around with dear little Scarlet really did me in! When Audrey was born, I remember we did what they told us to do: wipe the umbilical cord stump with alcohol every time you change her diaper and a few times a day apply Bacitracin cream around the edges of the base of the cord. Okay. Fine, we did that and the cord dried up and fell off in her diaper.

Not this time. Oh no. This time, the cord started to rot. I am not kidding. And then one day I was giving Scarlet a sponge bath in the kitchen sink and I realized that the cord had become dislodged from the base (her abdomen) and was hanging by a yellow like cord of sorts. I tugged ever so gently hoping it would just fall off. Nope. It went through my brain that I could just clip it with fingernail clippers and threw that out as not such a good idea. Which it turns out was good intuition after telling my pediatrician about it and his eyes got all big and bulgy and proceeded to scare the living day lights out of me with stories of unstoppable bleeding and such.

So for days, I held the dangling rotting umbilical cord in place with a bandaid for fear that it would get accidentally yanked with the diaper or just from holding her. This did not aid the drying out process, unfortunately. And the cord continued to rot. And ooze. And then the smell began. Have you ever smelled a rotting umbilical cord? Dear God!

I tried not to freak out about this little problem but when it is your precious and most beautiful newborn daughter, it is hard not to be a tad bit concerned. I thought to myself, “If I can just hold out till Tuesday when we go in see Dr. Ray* and he can tell me what to do.” So I dutifully continued to wipe the rotting, and I hate to say, softening (not drying out) cord of flesh with alcohol and antibiotic cream. I kept the bandaid plastered on her fragile and silky skin, rotating it with each application hoping to keep her skin from breaking down. Unsuccessful in that pursuit…her tummy started to get all raw and red from the adhesive of the bandaid. Dear Lord x2!!

Just when I was about to lose the contents of my stomach from working with the rotting piece of flesh, I decided to give her a bath the morning of going to the pediatrician. I carefully washed around the cord which was exuding the most peculiar smell. I was nearing the end of the bath and was about to scoop Scarlet up into the warm towel when all of a sudden I spy the goopey piece of circular flesh floating in the water. I look down and sure enough, Scarlet’s belly button has officially emerged and all was well.

But the story is not over yet. No sirree. For one last bit of dry heaves, I had to get the rotting umbilical cord out of the soapy, poopy, spit up lukewarm water. This is where it gets bad and I am ready to throw in the towel for gross jobs as a mom. I decide instead of pulling it out with my fingers or even with a donned pair of dish gloves, I am just going to ignore it and act like it isn’t in the water. Yeap, that is exactly what I am going to do. And a smile comes over my face. I close my eyes and tilt the baby bath tub and swoosh goes all the dirty water down the kitchen sink and into the disposal. And wouldn’t you know, I needed to turn the garbage disposal on and help evacuate all that “dirty” water. [Shanel, don't think about it, just don't think about it! Maintain composure, denial and that smile on your face!!]

And that is the story, my friends, of Scarlet losing the final piece of my body, in a way, that supplied her with life, nutrients, oxygen and lots of good stuff!

Bye, bye rotting umbilical cord! Or as Audrey would say, “Shoo, bug, go away!”
Shoo, rotting flesh, go away!