Archive for October, 2009


Cinched.

I have been putting to good use my favorite (and in my opinion, the BEST cookbook–ongoing debate between Ivan and me) cookbook, The Joy of Cooking. I somehow opened it to the dedication page and read this:

“…to receive the full value of joy you must have someone to share it with.”

– Mark Twain

I have often wondered about this very same thing. I never was able to put it into such eloquence, but there it is, what I have felt all along. I always thought it was because I was extroverted and needed desperately to talk about it, process it, tell someone about what I was seeing, experiencing, feeling, noticing. But I think he’s right; I needed to share it with someone else to make it complete and experience the fullness of whatever delight I was taking in.

Maybe that’s why I blog. Maybe that’s why I like cooking and throwing huge parties to celebrate people. Maybe that’s why I feel propelled to take photos (even with a cheap-ass camera). And maybe that’s why I like using words, sometimes too many words, to express myself. There are limits though to using these mediums that can’t even come close to having someone near your side, taking in the same sunset or singing with full gusto amidst 19,000 students at an Urbana convention. Or having someone near your side when you birth your first child. Oh, to stand with another when the first leaves change color and you look up into the most glorious orange you have ever seen. And to share a warm cup of tea in front of the fire with the light catching the warm red hues of the wood and the coziness settling into your bones, together. Oh, how I wished I had someone to share my first thoughts and emotions as the plane set down in Nairobi, Kenya. How my little heart had longed to go to Africa since I was a wee little girl and then the dream was fulfilled.

There are so many spaces and times in our lives where to simply share the moment with another completes our joy.

I think this will be some of the amazing part of heaven. Where we look into each others eyes and with twinkles of happy tears say, “We are home!” And joy will ooze and flood and nothing and no one can ever take that from us ever again. Oh what a happy day that will be!

The Last of the Dahlias

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I have pulled all the tubules from the earth and have laid them to rest on a cardboard box in the basement. In time, they will return to warm soil and be watered by spring rains and color will resume. Until then, I cherish these last blooms.

Six Years of Marriage

Today marks the sixth year of my marriage to Ivan Peter Martens.
As of today (compared to six years ago):
We know each other more deeply and wholly.
We have more wrinkles and gray hairs.
We have learned to keep talking and work out our conflicts more easily and quickly.
We are closer to Jesus with each other.
We have settled into a home we call our own.
We have two beautiful daughters.
Thus we are more tired and more poor, but happy.
We have walked through grief unknown and unheard of to us when we made our vows.
We have seen God begin to pull us up and out of the muddy pit of our grief.
And we are still married and stronger because of all of it.
Six years of marriage.
So thankful.

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Here is to another wonderful, less grief filled, more abundance filled six years of knowing one another even more and walking the journey close together.

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