Have you ever had a piece of music pierce you in a place so deep within that it surprisingly brought a little sob into your throat? Have you ever been caught off guard by the rhythm of a song that you found yourself swaying and rocking in such a way that resembles a birthing woman? Have you felt your gut lurch with emotion in response to some crescendo in a song?
One Saturday morning, I was in the garden and realized I was running out of my wave runner petunias for my window boxes. So off to Home Depot I went. I popped in Ivan’s favorite classical CD—Beethoven’s 9th symphony. I turned it up really loud which was just slightly counter cultural since the majority in Waukegan blast their music in such way to cause other people’s cars to vibrate along with their own. But the slightly counter cultural part is that I was playing classical music instead of that tuba song the Latinos are addicted to right now at a decibel that was vibrating my very own body. As the music played and the warm wind whipped my hair around the edges of my sun hat, I felt the music tugging on me and before I knew it the soul of this piece of music had it’s hands around some braided core within me, yanking. There is a part in the 4th movement (not sure if that is the right musical terminology, but whatever) where the choir that has been standing there in anticipation of their part for a good forty five minutes is finally able to release their voices. It starts with a baritone singing in German a beautiful piece titled Ode to Joy, “Oh friends, not these tones! Let us raise our voices in more pleasing and more joyful sounds!” I, of course, don’t know the English interpretation of the German, but it still swells and tosses the water within me and I all of a sudden find myself wanting to heave with sobs. I was aware that what was being tossed around and pulled up by this powerful piece of music was wordless; but it was there. So I just let the music drag up that cord of woven emotion and wept.
I recently watched the movie, Once (I know, I am behind in the times and probably considered an old lady by most). I had an evening just to myself so I nestled into the couch and watched. What a powerful and moving movie. I had a similar response to the music found within this movie as I did to Beethoven where the music of the movie was stirring the waters and I felt all sort of emotion cresting to the top and brimming over. The music is so full of grief and loss and a tad bit of rage. It seemed applicable to where I am most days and gave language to the deeper wells of emotion that seemed locked up but raging within me. I wept through the entirety of the movie, finding it extremely cathartic.
So I find my heart cresting with powerful pieces of music and the wildflowers found within the woods. And I ride the wave, so to speak, letting my feet get picked up off the river bed floor and swept up into the current of God’s mercy moving through the inner chambers of my heart where only beauty can penetrate and speak comfort.