Second time around here, and I want to know what gender we are having. Ivan initially did not. Ivan loves surprises, especially the very few good ones in life, like having a baby and it being announced in that triumphant way, “It’s a girl!” If you think about it, most surprises are usually not good ones and are usually really bad setting off turbulent and sometimes volcanic emotional reactions in us. Like, discovering right before you go grocery shopping that your checking account is overdrawn. Like, finding out your parents who have been married for close to 30 years are getting a divorce out of the blue. Like, hearing the news that a dear friend discovered she miscarried when she went in for her 20 week check up and they found no heart beat. These are the typical surprises of life. But waiting to find out the gender of your baby to come; that is definately one of the good surprises of life.
I have been working on Ivan, so to speak, trying to bring him to my side of wanting to know what we are having. Most of it is logistical for me for I am a planner. And as Ivan pointed out later, I think it will aid and bless our bonding with the little one even before he or she is born. At first, I found Ivan conceding to my desires to find out the gender; almost like we were competing in a race and all of a sudden he gave up. This would not do for me. I could see it backfiring on me in the future when Ivan was filled with disappointment and possible resentment. So I found myself resigning to letting him win the race and waiting till the actual birth to be surprised. And I was mostly okay with that.
Until a few days ago, that was the plan. Wait and be surprised. Ivan calls me on his way into work on a brilliant sunny morning. This is when he does some deep thinking. He tells me he thinks he is “excited” about finding out. “Ivan, tell me about your excitement.” He goes on to tell me some well articulated and thought out reasons why he feels some growing excitement and openness to finding out the gender. He passes the test, in my mind, in terms of his level of excitement.
So as excitement grows to find out more specifically who this little one is tucked inside fluttering about like a hyperexcited little squid, I went ahead and scheduled the ultrasound for July 2nd!
Let the ballots fly and cast your vote.
XX or XY (for those of you nonscientific sorts that would be the chromosomal signs for girl or boy…)??
You have till July 2nd at 8:30am to make your vote known.