I think Audrey has always been advanced for her age, but this is not quite an area I long for her to jump ahead into. Miss M (as we affectionately call her) is giving us a run for our money. I need a few shout outs from you mom’s so that I know I am not going to have a nervous break down and that this stage will come to an end.

You know your munchkin is entering the terrible two’s when:
>All she will eat is chicken.
>She has learned how to say no by shaking her head back and forth with a smooshed up, attitude filled face.
>She refuses to play with toys and prefers water, ice cubes, measuring cups, dad’s shoes, my cell phone, the wipes box, a running faucet, and emptying and filling all categories of containers.
>She smacks you in the face when she doesn’t get her way.
>She picks all the flowers off your mums you just planted on the back stoop leaving nice stems.
>She must sit in her big girl chair at the kitchen nook instead of her high chair; and who needs a bib anymore?
>She gnaws on a pacifier like it is a tough piece of beef.
>She organizes the garbage cans, that is, the stuff in the garbage cans.
>She runs away when you say, “Come here.”
>She must do things for herself, like going down the stairs when you are horribly late for work and it would be so much easier scooping her and carrying her to the car.
>She is determined to master putting on her own shoes and putting on her own clothes, even though she gets mixed up and tries to put shirts around her waist and shoes on the wrong feet.
>She grunts a lot because she is frustrated.
>She has a growing fascination with Arthur and Curious George, a sure sign of TV addiction (actually mom’s only way to get a break).
>She has turned into a monkey, climbing on everything, including the old bookcase Jerry built for you in college and enjoys an occasional flying stunt.
>Her body is covered in bruises, scrapes and abrasions.
>She needs occasional “rests” aka time-outs in her crib because she is expressing her will by melting down, screeching, crying, throwing her hands at anything in her path and truly inconsolable (all because she couldn’t play with her fingers in running water in the bathroom sink).
>She is always moving, organizing, planning, inventing, exploring.
>She is charming you with that always amazing chuckle and glittery smile!

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I guess it is all worth it. But I sure do feel tired out by this little one. And a bit crazy at times. Especially when she hides my cell phone in the casing of my computer (forgetting to mention this to me) right before I have a phone conference with my research job. Miss M must have forgotten we don’t have a home phone and my only ways of communicating with these people was via cell phone. The cell phone I couldn’t find for 45 minutes and by that time the meeting was over and I was sick to my stomach with fear that I might lose my job if I keep losing things. And then all of a sudden when I had surrendered the search for the cell phone, I hear a vibration near my leg (where my computer nests) and I discover tucked on top and inside lies my cell phone. This whole time I am pulling apart everything in the house and raising my voice, “Audrey, where is mama’s cell phone? Audrey…where is mama’s cell phone? Audrey, where is my damn phone!?!”–placing different emphasis on each significant word hoping that it might get through her hellion noggen where she strategically placed my cell phone. Nothing. So before I attempted to kill her, I placed her in her crib for a little “rest”. And that is when I gave up the search. It was all thanks to Katie F. really. She sent me a great link to a knitting blog explaining a left slanting stitch called an “ssk” and that is when I felt the vibration of the phone nesting in my computer next to my leg.

AGGGGGGHHHHHGGGHHH!

Any other mom’s feeling a bit crazy?

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